return my video game
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
