i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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