it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
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Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
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Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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