I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
