I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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