Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
