i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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