Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We don't watch enough power rangers
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
