I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I pour the whiskey from now on
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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