so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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