Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!

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  (619): Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant! http://tfl.nu/toiz
  Replies (18) Good night (1722) Bad night (601)
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  (650): View more from California

  Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite

  (650): View more from California

  Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good

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  (650): Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite (650): Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good http://tfl.nu/6hx1
  Replies (7) Good night (462) Bad night (757)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.

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  (845): Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes. http://tfl.nu/5scb
  Replies (44) Good night (1160) Bad night (1627)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.

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  (609): He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night. http://tfl.nu/520f
  Replies (31) Good night (2538) Bad night (7165)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.

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  (972): Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight. http://tfl.nu/7ped
  Replies (11) Good night (3576) Bad night (1320)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.

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  (502): update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive. http://tfl.nu/e1l9
  Replies (10) Good night (4753) Bad night (1276)
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  (530): View more from California

  Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.

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  (530): Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed. http://tfl.nu/8sey
  Replies (12) Good night (893) Bad night (2948)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."

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  (307): I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom." http://tfl.nu/5uyu
  Replies (20) Good night (4774) Bad night (1724)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.

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  (602): After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum. http://tfl.nu/w0v8
  Replies (5) Good night (1851) Bad night (539)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..

  (630): View more from Illinois

  how did he take it?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  not as well as i would have thought

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  (847): told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex.. (630): how did he take it? (847): not as well as i would have thought http://tfl.nu/nj94
  Replies (6) Good night (1433) Bad night (653)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.

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  (252): We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault. http://tfl.nu/5n55
  Replies (3) Good night (1459) Bad night (471)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.

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  (704): Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention. http://tfl.nu/qqdz
  Replies (17) Good night (1632) Bad night (516)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob

  (1-931): View more from Tennessee

  Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic

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  (931): He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob (1-931): Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic http://tfl.nu/rfmh
  Replies (4) Good night (1456) Bad night (315)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato

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  (212): Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato http://tfl.nu/ss5k
  Replies (3) Good night (650) Bad night (254)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, where are you?

  (928): View more from Arizona

  In back

  (928): View more from Arizona

  of car

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  ... whose car?

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  (901): Dude, where are you? (928): In back (928): of car (901): ... whose car? http://tfl.nu/bog4
  Replies (0) Good night (419) Bad night (160)

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