No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
