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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (775): View more from Nevada

  Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN

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• (626): View more from California

  and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.

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• (914): View more from New York

  So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.

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• (289): View more from Ontario

  "you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.

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• (626): View more from California

  I can't believe just smoked out of a pear

  (909): View more from California

  I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive

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