so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
