Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
