big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
