So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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