You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
