Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
