i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
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we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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