i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
So squirting runs in the family.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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