have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
