My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Randomize