He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize