I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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