Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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