drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
