He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
