oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
