So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
