I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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