u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
