party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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