either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
