wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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