I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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