dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
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