So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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