I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize