She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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