i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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