we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
