WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
