my mouth tastes like poor choices
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
