Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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