so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
