I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
