I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I love having hate sex.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Randomize
