so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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