You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
