Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
