I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
