Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
