I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
