fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
