Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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