I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
