Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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