people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
