I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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