so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize