Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
