do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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