I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
