I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
no you cant smoke seaweed
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
