Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
