I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
