Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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