There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Everyone says I win the strip club
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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