you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize