i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
